#260

i really do hate my life sometimes. maybe i'm demanding. but we should have target in our life right? ugh. all i'm asking is, more happy and mesmerizing moments rather than those pain and upsetting moments in my life. i'm so sick of it. sometimes i do wish to get hit by a car, die or let me coma for like few weeks. with no pain. honestly. i want to get a break. from everything. sick of being fake. sick of pretending. sick of acting patiently. sick of being human as well. yes. i do complain much i know. it's because i have never been contented in my life. life's gets rough, don't they? but why? can't it just be a little more simple. simplicity is all i ask for. i'm really tired. i just felt that i couldn't bare with you anymore. you're so sickening. ugh. how much i want to leave this place. but i know i wouldn't stand the hardship out there. but i will try. never try, never know. everyone will go through each stage in order to be more mature. i guess i'm more mature than last time but i think, not much. just a little. -.- whatever la. i don't like my life now. i hope to get a coma now. just shut down. then let me clear off those sadness. and replace them with those happy moments. i really do hate myself sometimes. being so stubborn and so ugh. i don't know. but i just want a little better than this. i just hope this place remains silent. i don't want any noise, any talking, any speech, any lecture, or even any conversation. just do your own thing and i'll do mine. =| it's really complicated as i'm a given a sensitive sense. i mean my senses are sensitive. i see things differently. from you actions, your words, your eyesight and also your body language, i see more. more than the surface. and i admit i'm sensitive and sometimes i maybe over think of something. but that's not i want right? i'm so used to it, or that's really what God made me. i'm supposed to live my life to the fullest and stop complaining right? yeah. but i just cant. example. you want A badly, but after you get that, you want B. then C. D ...... and endless. humans will never get contented. never! NEVER! fml!!!!!!!! i hate it!!!!!!!!!! so tired!!!!! #$%^&*()(*&^#$^&*(_&@#$(@)(#&*@%#