Day 5 of the survival

I can't find any words to describe my feelings now. It's totally indescribeable? Lol. Whatever it is. I will fight through this war and win it! I'm unbeatable. Lol. I won't give up even I know I may not handle it. But I'm starting to give up. So I came here to release off some shit. Uh, by the way, when I was buying my dinner just now, I felt the sea breeze. Ohmygod. It's so uh. I miss going to the beach. Well. It's a place of tranquility. It's so comfortable to hear the sea wind and the waves. I'm going to the beach man. After the hungry ghost month. For sure! Now, fight your books, sk.

Day 4

It's day four and I have no mood to study anymore. It's so tiring. I'm exhausted. I've typed everything just now and one back button made me rewrite everything again. God Damn everything! Sigh. I forgotten what I wanted to say but I remember I was saying there's nothing more I can do. Or rather there's nothing in this world worth me fighting for. I don't know what took my study mode off. But i'm sure it's a shit. Crap Crap. Taxation. I wish the god can give me the strength to stand up again. I think I need guidance, maybe. But I think what I really really need now is a hug. A warm hug from a friend? I guess? I want a long scream too but it's hungry ghost month. No screaming are allowed. Lol. Whatever it takes. Whatever I do. I will do it. I don't know if I could fight through this war and win this war. Because it's not easy. It's never easy being human. Especially a complicated one. Life's never easy. Dreams, perhaps are the easiest thing ever. God bless me. Lol

buto!

buto is grape. lol. i dont wanna study anymore! fcuked up black and white life! shit!

What?

What? What do I really want? I want things to be simple. As simple as it could. But it won't right? Because this is life. Life's never easy ey.. Whatever it takes, we have to go through it. Through thick and thin. Through the rough and smooth. Just another night of tears ey.. I'm weak. So weak. I want to be heard. But there's no one to go to. Sigh. When can I see the next sunrise? I miss the sunrise that makes me feel alive and refreshed. And the starry starry night.. That gives me a very peaceful, happy and mesmerizing memory of you. Imissyou. =S sad and broken everyday. Who knows? Maybe I'm so used to see things by the negative side, that's why i'm so negative. =( sigh. What can I do? This is a habit or attitude. And it's not easy to change one. Time. Time. Time. I hope things just pass faster and set me free. Set me free from this pain. I struggled enough. I could barely take it anymore. Not a bit!

Day1

Day 1 of finals for year2 sem1. sien ness. although the paper has passed but i still do have some worries though i am relieved! =S well well well. today was just the other day. i was expecting something better and then it became odd. kao sai la. i wanna leave this place. to hell with it.

imy!

although time has passed so long. i still think of you every now and then. you just pass through me. straight through my brain, my heart =O blah blah blah. seeing your pictures reminds me even more. =( sigh. times passes! when will this end. o.O anyway. when i'm studying, time passes quickly. but when i online! the time FLIES! wth?! study study study. my life is just black and white now. no other color. nope. none! life's get harder as we grow, don't they? =| aikss. i could really use a wish right now ;)

#228

we were like strangers when we met. you know it's hurtful to see that happens and i felt it deep inside. we had so much fun together. we once had i mean. but i do miss those days. but those were the days. they will never come back again, don't they? past is a past. look for the future ey? it's good to see you guys once in a while though. at least i can recap those memories back again. =) although it is sad. but through the pain i have felt, i realized something else. just let it go right? perhaps. i will. one day =)
wooo.. and i found this quiz quite accurate. i did it before i think? maybe. i wanna remind myself. so i'm gonna keep it here =|
Love Test
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You take your time and do not fall in love easily.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :In a relationship you give 60% and expect 40% in return.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You like to get the person yourself.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You are a more direct person and like to work out problems immediately
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You like to see him/her a lot.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You love the person the way s/he is.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ :You fall out of love easily.
and and this!
Find out your Ideal Mate!
웃 :You always compare yourself with others.
웃 :You make your wishes too difficult to come true.
웃 :You are in despair about your lack of success.
웃 :That's your attitudes towards success.
웃 :You are a person of principle.
웃 :You respect social rules and regulations.
웃 :You are emotional, sincere and optimistic.

blablabla.
SK THE ROARING GOAT! woots! roars! uh. i wish finals just ended now. =S

#227

stress makes one grow, don't day? i felt i am not the same anymore. not that weak. maybe a growth of 1%? lol! whatever la. tired! mom is having a vacation in China! and i suffer all alone in the house =S sadness. she made me into a lau ee =P but well. maybe i should start learning all these. =) hmmm. anyway, i am slacking off these days. but i am working harder as compared to the past semesters. =D so happy and so sad. whatever it takes and whatever happens, i'm gonna break through everything! BREAK IT! SK THE ROARING GOAT! me and wew decided to buy a pen like SUE. i wanna carve "SK THE ROARING GOAT" ler. lol. random! =D and and and! one good thing, i facebook-ing lesser nowadays. =D

i can't take it anymore.

lol. i really can't take it anymore. exam stress. the pressure i felt this semester is different from the past sems. it's like fire burning in the heart and head but there's not enough willpower to start the engine. what am i supposed to dO? crap la. do it even you don't like it. this is life. we never have a choice. i'm gonna fight till the end. o.O there's something in my mind lately. but i knew i should not have it, in any way. =S doesn't quite make sense. crap crap. FINALS! maf then pof then tax then fa then entre. then FREE-DOM. woots. counting the days for freedom. =) what is important is the process.. yup. from the process, we learn more and more stuff! =) i'm gonna stop spending for the sake of brighter future. i dowana ended up be a Big Spender! weeeeeeeeee* can't stop doing that. . o.O

#225

I wanna talk. I really do. But I don't know who should I go to? Perhaps perhaps. Whatever. If that's what you want then fine. If you are satisfied and happy, good. But I am not!! Have you ever think of the people around you? Perhaps never. Selfish ass. Could you try to put on other's shoe and feel like how they feel? No. Never. You are not even all grown up yet. Whatever. Damn it! And, apart from my revision, maf sucks. To the max! Notes and tutorials and pass years are different! And how are we supposed to study? Crap shit ay! Argh! At the very moment I feel like tearing green green off. Damn you man green green!

=S

awful. so terribly sick. i was vomiting and diarrhea back in two days =S 3.30 till afternoon. bout 8 times or something =S everything came out. even my dinner, my bile =S so damn pain =S till today i can still feel the pain. and today my aunty visited me =S crap. well. i had an injection and "tiau chui" as well LOL. terrible. awful. well that passed. and today period came =S crap man. crap crap. i will remember this pain i had, and i will never have raw food until i get my injection for hepatitis B ! crap another 3 injections if i din hear wrongly ! SHIT! well. suddenly i feel so lost. =|

#223

Well. There's nothing I can do about it . Why should I even bother, right? But no! We are related. Yeah. We are. I don't know why god has this arrangement. Well! I cannot question the god. And we do not have the rights or authority to question too. Guess this is fate after all. However, I will just tell myself to stay tough. I am just another stubborn ass. Lol. Well. Who else can I go to? I kept asking myself this question. Who? Perhaps there are. Perhaps none. Well. God made this arrangements has its reasons behind it. So maybe I should just learn, observe and absorb. Put it in life. Life is never easy and life doesn't come with an instruction nor a guide. So, I should learn and remember the pain I have felt and make sure it doesn't repeat. But hey, history repeats by itself though. Roarsss! Let the bygone bygone. Let the killing begin too! Kill books! Finals is in less than two weeks and I never had any shit on it! Roarssss! I should start panicing now! Before its too late! Sk! The roaring goat! Haha!

#222

i won't blame life. because i'm destined to be like this. i won't blame him as well. because it's fate. well. i'm not quite sure where am i going and what do i want. but for sure, i don't want this. i always tell myself that i wanna break the egg and turn over a new leaf. but i just can't. saying is easy, but not the part, doing. it's easy to say and difficult to be done. o.O blah. there are so much so much so much i wanna say. do. think. but i just felt i couldn't do it. maybe i dont have confidence but there are reasons right? there are always a reason behind something. =) it's just indescribable. =S whatever it is. i will rush through this. i promised myself. i never wanted this kind of .... . i never like living in this "place" i never liked!