31-10-2010

over. dead. dead or alive. life and death. watever. =.= i dont know what am i talking also. ohyes. about that. RED! red really reminds me a lot of things there =S listening the songs there. reminds me even more pain. but it's still so enjoyable.. =D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

HAHAHAHA! happy birthday to my self! =D a lot of things happened lately.. a surprised party for me and weiling.. =D thanks people! =D appreciate that! =) then, ytd, shit ass. i accidentally deleted all the pictures. then luckily i found a program to get back. thank god. pheww! what else i want to say. dont know.. so many things i want to say. but i cant put them into words. =O next wed is presentation in CA =S dead. it will be an extraordinary experience.. XD ohya, today i saw to indian guy were whacking on two cows so badly.. =( i saw the pain in them. i could feel it too. please do stop cruelty. it's not war world. everyone should have moral and ethics in themselves. please. care them like how you care yourself. without those animals, where did u get stuff like cow milk? protection from dogs that you might not know? they might save you one day. they are living things! not torturing items! bloody fool! curse you for beating them!!!!!

Shit.

Today is the most memorable day of the year. Even more memorable than my birthday, maybe funeral as well or even whatever event in my life. Well. What else could I say. Tired. Sick of life. Again. Oh yes. For the girls out there. Remember. You can marry a good man. Then that's good. Congratulations. If you married a man which is either a gambler, drunkard, or drug addict.. I could tell you. Gambler at least is a little better.. At least, worst, they just ask money from you. Snatch it from you and so.. Then drunkard.. Crap shit. Hit wife and kids. Crap hoh. Never ever. Marry a man which is either this three. And I need not say about the drug addict.. You could imagine it yourselves.. Life's not fair. It's never. It won't be. And worst, it will never be! Live with it...!

23/10

well. I'm wondering. did i miss a lot? maybe? maybe not? i hope not. i don't like to miss things out. i want to attend everything i could. =) but i just can't separate myself right? haha. what else should i say? things are getting deeper. =| so much i want to say but nothing i could say. 17/10.. a day to remember in my life. this is what friends are really meant for. after such long period being friends, and yet, this is what i get. what's the point continuing this friendship? i felt it's pointless. words are sharper than knife. i totally agree. I'm weak. it's easy to hurt me. just simple words. yeah, I'm sorry for yelling at you. but you know what? u totally ruin my week. weekS perhaps. totally. saddening to be like this but i have no choice. i just want to sit back and relax. enjoy life while i still could. oh, yesterday had a drink with cy, jo, cy's sis in law and her friend, yeap. kanasai. slowly drink wain then started to bottom's up.. gone case. =.= somewhat the steaming moment was fun but not so fun. haha. whatever la. my english is gone. someone please speak english with me. =)

knock you down by keri hilson ft. kanye west and NeYo.

sometimes love fall down and knock you down =) just get back up! yeah yeah. yesterday. 19/10 i changed my hair style. brand new me huh? real short hair. a lil boyish. but i kinda like one side of it, were to my complexions are better =| i wish i could =) well, there's always hope =) think of happiness. think of those who are meaningful. think about those happy thoughts, those memorable, mesmerizing ones. =) perhaps, i hope it would help. =) sk sk. stop thinking so much. your brain needs a break =S

Roars!

I feel so weak, so restless.. Helpless.. Stucked up.. I couldn't help myself but to burst into tears. I promise, I won't shed a tear anymore for this. I'm so sick and tired of faking. I had enough.. So i'm not gonna bother it anymore.. Life's like this right? Never meant to be fair. Destinied. Dated. Prearranged. Meant to be means it had to be. Nothing can change the fact set. Sigh. Why care? Why bother? Live with it. It's daily cycle. Yeah. It is. No point keeping a grudge about it.. O.o yeah. I don't give a damn! You mutha fuckers!
Bitches! Get the hell out of my life! Roars!

15/10

suddenly i think back the last semesters. . i remembered, sem1 we are all strangers.. sem2, the incident of someone forged my signature for the attendance. sem3, i forgotten! how could i! sem4, a lil misunderstanding with qq and sy. o.O now sem5 i think another conflicting incident between me and os? o.O hopefully not la. i felt that she is afraid. afraid to open up her heart and mind. =S and now i know her so well, she doesn't know about me anything, she's even scared. =|

enough!

argh! seriously! enough! i don't wanna do this anymore! don't know how much could i bear with everything! God, please to light my path and show me the way. Amitabha. i really need guidance. i just want things to go on a little smoother. not so rough. =| will things get better? really just wake me up when it's 2012 december. =S so much had happened. her and her. with the same source of problems but different stories. what so ever. enough. tired of everything . sick of everything. just wanna lay down and take a good long break. relax. chill. and just let the "waste" to flow down by themselves. then, enjoy life to the fullest. live like we're dying. live like never lived before. !.!
and and, When a person cries and the first teardrop is from the right eye, its happiness but when its from the left, it's pain.. by cheryl geh in fb.
=O surprisingly. haha. well .this is on my mind for this very moment. never forget your roots. they are what you are. they are what makes you today. these roots has its own specialty and they are valuable. maybe priceless. never forget your roots. =)

Sushi king?

Hello dear blog! Miss me? Miss me not? Haha! Well well well. As usual, today I did not pay attention in econs. Hahaha! Terrible me. Feeling guilty? Nope. I hope I feel guilty. So that I will pay more attention on the upcoming lectures.. And we had burgers outside the lecture hall's hallway. Quite a rush.. O.o then blahh.. We went off. I went off to home first, to take my medicine. Then went to sushi king to fight and war there. Fun, yet tiring. Haha. Then watched sammy's adventure. I find that movie is not bad. Meaningfull. Loving. Touching. But it's total cartoon! Worst part of it.. Cartoon. But the turtle is cute! Hahah.. Then, had dinner .. When we were ordering, something unexpected and terrifying happened! We were all shocked! I hope she's fine. Cheer up alright? You have us. ;-) winks*... Now. I'm lying on my bed.. Having problems to sleep. Insomnia.. Terrible. Thinking rubbish here and there. Blahh! I want to sleep! Give me a break alright! Nights!

sometimes we must learn to let go..

yes.. let go.. for a better life. for a better future.. let go and let it be. i dont know what else could i say but i really do have a lot in my mind. =|

#261

I really want to find someone to cry out. Loudly. Screaming all out. Like. Everything. You people just make me miserable. Seriously I can't take it anymore. I wanna die. Enough wei. Enough. Fcuking shit. God Damn it. Can't you people just leave me alone?! I'm tired. So so so. Tired. God please treat me with mercy. I don't know if I could take it anymore. Seems like I couldn't. Breathless.

#260

i really do hate my life sometimes. maybe i'm demanding. but we should have target in our life right? ugh. all i'm asking is, more happy and mesmerizing moments rather than those pain and upsetting moments in my life. i'm so sick of it. sometimes i do wish to get hit by a car, die or let me coma for like few weeks. with no pain. honestly. i want to get a break. from everything. sick of being fake. sick of pretending. sick of acting patiently. sick of being human as well. yes. i do complain much i know. it's because i have never been contented in my life. life's gets rough, don't they? but why? can't it just be a little more simple. simplicity is all i ask for. i'm really tired. i just felt that i couldn't bare with you anymore. you're so sickening. ugh. how much i want to leave this place. but i know i wouldn't stand the hardship out there. but i will try. never try, never know. everyone will go through each stage in order to be more mature. i guess i'm more mature than last time but i think, not much. just a little. -.- whatever la. i don't like my life now. i hope to get a coma now. just shut down. then let me clear off those sadness. and replace them with those happy moments. i really do hate myself sometimes. being so stubborn and so ugh. i don't know. but i just want a little better than this. i just hope this place remains silent. i don't want any noise, any talking, any speech, any lecture, or even any conversation. just do your own thing and i'll do mine. =| it's really complicated as i'm a given a sensitive sense. i mean my senses are sensitive. i see things differently. from you actions, your words, your eyesight and also your body language, i see more. more than the surface. and i admit i'm sensitive and sometimes i maybe over think of something. but that's not i want right? i'm so used to it, or that's really what God made me. i'm supposed to live my life to the fullest and stop complaining right? yeah. but i just cant. example. you want A badly, but after you get that, you want B. then C. D ...... and endless. humans will never get contented. never! NEVER! fml!!!!!!!! i hate it!!!!!!!!!! so tired!!!!! #$%^&*()(*&^#$^&*(_&@#$(@)(#&*@%#

#259

Woots! Bought my backpack today. Yesterday? Lol. Wanted to buy long ago. Expensive. But. I kinda like it. Quite actually. Lol. Interesting. It's been a while since I used a backpack to college. Hmmm. Anyway! The most memorable thing today is charlie st. cloud! It was awesome! Sexy smokey killing eyes! And that body! That makes you in woohoo! Lol..... Sounds wrong, but it's a truth. He's hawt! Awesome! Who's he? He's zac efron! Haha! That's all for now. Kinda tired.. Nights!

#258

I've decided to blog after all. Lol. I'm starting to hate my phone more now. Annoying and lagg. Argh! Well. Congrats to my aunt! More to come for you! Heh. Anyway. I've this on my mind. I wanna say things to my dear classmates. Next post perhaps. What am I doing? Tired but I wanna blog. I want to release a little. I said i'm in dilemma and I have problems. But I never think of those who are really in trouble and truly need help. Blahh. I know everyone's road and rainbow differs. So, sk! Stop complaining! Btw, thanks to wew , yy and vana. Red box today really did opened me. I will ring even better next time. There's always space for improvement! Oh, btw, i'm wondering this in my mind. Did my words offended people? I think sometimes I do. So, I apologize now. =) this doesn't mean i'm wrong. But I don't wanna do things I regret and there might be no more tomorrow for me? I mean what if tomorrow never comes! Interesting huh me? I do feel so. But I don't wanna do things I regret much. I'm trying to but down. This is life. Never fair. Dear, mr. X. Must you decide every thing? Things you said hurt people a lot. Sometimes I just hope everything maintains the same. You don't talk , I don't speak. Just do your own thing and i'll do mine. Peace. Argh. Anyway. The letter to my classmates, I'll write it some time later on. When I have more time. Tired and lack me sleep. Nights!

Quotes i found =)

- Tears are the rinse water of an unhappy heart by Raynor Schein.

- In your life you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some you wonder what happened to them. by Unknown.

- Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives by Tony Robbins.

- You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

- Remember, if you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns! by Allison Gappa Bottke

- If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree. by Jim Rohn

- Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow. by Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros

- Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must. by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

- Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning? by Coleman Cox

- Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. by Author Unknown

- The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile. by Plato

- Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. by Theodore Roosevelt

- The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. by Jimmy Johnson

- Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. by Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

- Decorate yourself from the inside out. by Terri Guillemets


- Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. by Charles Dickens

- We have a choice every day - to act on yesterday's good intentions or get an early start on tomorrow's regrets. by Robert Brault

- When you start treating people like people, they become people. by Paul Vitale


- Be kind to your shadow. by Rebecca Lawless


- I thought growing up was something that happened automatically as you got older. But it turns out it's something you have to choose to do. From the television show Scrubs


- If you have to do it every day, for God's sake learn to do it well. by Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


- Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine. by Ralph Waldo Emerson

- Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. Robert Louis Stevenson

- Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway. by Elbert Hubbard, A Thousand and One Epigrams, 1911

- Whatever you are be a good one. by Abraham Lincoln


- It's better to fight for something than against something. by Author Unknown


ALRIGHT! THATS ABOUT IT! =) lazy wanna pick the one i'm interested. XD but there's a lot. =)

O.O

well. after looking at her blog. i felt sorrow. well. i dont know much. but i'm curious. not being busybody but i'm concerned about her. well. we are all friends wei. i hope that you would speak it out to someone else. =) just talk it all out. hmmm. interesting. i realize the bond between the m11 mates are getting stronger. i hope there are more outings, to strengthen the bond even more. and till years or decades before it fades. these memories are precious. valuable. untouchable. =) but. can be felt in everyone's heart. and i believe every thing we did together, will leave a soft touch in everyone's heart. =) well. i hope there are more plans. seriously. i'm a hong so kia. i like going out. i dont like staying at home. i dont know why. maybe home makes me not me. =S it doesnt give me the feeling i wan. not that i expect. at least, some warmth? no. totally. so i dont care. live with it. now. i care everyone around me. i want everyone around me to be happy. =) if they are, and i am. if i could make a person smile, i could feel it with my heart, i mean the happiness came right from my heart. i could feel it. it's really nice making someone smile =) a smile can mean a lot. or at least, it could say that, i'm happy cause you .............. . lol. well. i dont think i am superb in organizing stuff. but i do hope people will cooperate with me when i organize stuff. maybe somehow, i like to do things alone. maybe thats a habit? i dont trust people when doing important stuff? everyone has to be done by myself? or am i a workaholic. whatever it is. i;m happy organizing stuff when i see people around happy with it. IF THE PLAN WORKS! whatever la. i dont know what i am talking about. lols. roars. and yeah. life sucks. it's awful. taste like shit.