#308

i dont know. i really dont know anymore. i don't know am i right or wrong. i don't even know what am i doing. i wish i could sit at the balcony and talk to the moon, the stars, the clouds. =) at least, i could feel more relieve. no one knows me. no one knows what i want. nobody. i don;t know myself quite well either. i am really lost. =S i really want to. i think i know myself, it's just that i dont see anything that would cheer me up. and hey, about winning. i think i really enjoy winning. it gives me an indescribable satisfaction. maybe that's what i really really want which gives me a sense of fulfillment and achievement.. i'm so empty. i need someone to fill me. o.O and btw, tmr is christmas eve. =( this reminds me of him.. last year, i still remember vividly, we celebrated at hardrock, we went tot he beach and walked and talked.. and and, you almost got a summon! haha.. luckily we were there in time! =D but that's just another memory. and another him.. i remember hugging you warmly several years ago, and now? you are not the one i know . =( and i remember about her again. i could not get you off my head, really. you're just like a broken record that will just play in my mind... sigh. i remember few years ago, i wanted to overnight at your old house with a whole bunch of friends, but ended up, sitting pohlynn's bike go home.. with some one else helmet! dont know indian or what! =S sweat. but those were the days. i had so many christmas with so many people before. but none really that mesmerizing . really, none. there's not one that makes me feel me strong. i'm looking forward for one though. =) find me. come find me. =) i need you by my side. mr. right? =P